Praying to the Dead

RABBI Is it permissible to Ask your deceased parents while looking at their picture to ask for help with the health of. my Daughter Chaya Leah bat Feige Fradel ? She has hypertension and does take her medicine but skips breakfast and lunch and only eats dinner and refuses to take the necessary VITAMINS. SADLY She does not heed our advice to correct the above.she is a 50 y old adult woman who is a loyal employee,good mother and daughter but she does not take care. Of herself. Thanking you in advance for your reply Respectfully Mrs.Kahn

Mrs. Kahn, shalom!

Thank you for your question.

We are to only pray to God.

In the words of the Chochmas Adam (24:5)

The unlearned people who go to graves and speak with the dead and tell them about their troubles, are likely violating to prohibition against necromancy…Some of our sages wanted to forbid making pilgrimages to gravesites. But those who do go there should pray to Hashem that he fulfill their wishes in the merit of their forefathers and in the merit of the righteous who are interred there (see Bach end of YD 217)

The same is true in your situation. You should not ask anything of the dead. But what you may do is ask for blessing in the merit of your deceased parents. The Mishnah Berura (OC 581) and the Kitzur Shulchan Aruch (128:13) emphasizes this point when they discusses the common custom of going to cemeteries before Rosh Hashana to pray. They warn against praying to the dead directly, reminding us that prayers are to be directly only to God.

We pray for the healing of Chaya Leah bat Feige Fradel.

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