Visiting the Grave during Hanukkah
Question
Shalom and blessings. We are in the year of mourning after our father, z"l. During Hanukkah, on Rosh Chodesh Tevet, it will be 12 months since his passing. I have seen in books that it is customary not to visit the grave on Rosh Chodesh and Hanukkah. How should we proceed, should we visit before or after? What about the completion meal on the night of the yahrzeit, is it possible to combine it with a family gathering?
Answer
Shalom Rav,
Regarding visiting during Hanukkah, there is a dispute among the poskim about visiting the grave.
Concerning the completion in the first year, a mourner is prohibited from eating at the completion on the night of the yahrzeit, unless the completion is in his home or he is the one completing. From the second year onwards, one may participate on the night of the yahrzeit and eat at the completion meal of a tractate, even if he is not the one completing.